11 Rules for about Marriage you never heard from your Teacher!

Rule 1: Marriage isn’t about your happiness. It’s not about you getting all your needs met through another person. Practicing self-denial and self-sacrifice, patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of a great marriage. If you want to be the center of the universe, then there’s a much better chance of that happening if you stay single.

Rule 2: Getting married gives a man a chance to step up and finish growing up. The best preparation for marriage for a single man is to man up now and keep on becoming the man God created him to be.

Rule 3: It’s okay to have one rookie season, but it’s not okay to repeat your rookie season. You will make rookie mistakes in your first year of marriage; the key is that you don’t continue making those same mistakes in year five, year 10, or year 20 of your marriage.

Rule 4: It takes a real man to be satisfied with and love one woman for a lifetime. And it takes a real woman to be content with and respect one man for a lifetime.

Rule 5: Love isn’t a feeling. Love is commitment. It’s time to replace the “D word”—divorce—with the “C word”—commitment. Divorce may feel like a happy solution, but it results in long-term toxic baggage. You can’t begin a marriage without commitment. You can’t sustain one without it either. A marriage that goes the distance is really hard work. If you want something that is easy and has immediate gratification, then go shopping or play a video game.

Rule 6: Online relationships with old high school or college flames, emotional affairs, sexual affairs, and cohabiting are shallow and illegitimate substitutes for the real thing. Emotional and sexual fidelity in marriage is the real thing.

Rule 7: Women spell romance R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. Men spell romance S-E-X. If you want to speak romance to your spouse, become a student of your spouse, enroll in a lifelong “Romantic Language School,” and become fluent in your spouse’s language. "Some Languages have Listening in them!"

Rule 8: During courtship, opposites attract. After marriage, opposites can repel each another. You married your spouse because he/she is different. Differences are God’s gift to you to create new capacities in your life. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different.

Rule 9: Pornography robs men of real relationships with a real people and poisons real masculinity, replacing it with the toxic killers of shame, deceit, and isolation. Pornography siphons off a man’s drive for intimacy with his wife. Marriage is not for wimps. Accept no substitutes.

Rule 10: As a home is built, it will reflect the builder. Most couples fail to consult the Master Architect and His blueprints for building a home. Instead a man and woman marry with two sets of blueprints (his and hers). As they begin building, they discover that a home can’t be built from two very different sets of blueprints.

Rule 11: How you will be remembered has less to do with how much money you make or how much you accomplish and more with how you have loved and lived.

Testimonies from last year

We've both rededicated and reminded ourselves of how important it is to complete each other. One evening while doing homework, my wife commented "you don't know what you are missing". The rippling effect of that statement shook me. I have a major responsibility as a husband, father, Christian and friend. This weekend reminded me that I don't want to "miss" anything.
Married 16 years
Occupation: Insurance Agent

We made love for the first time in 9 years. I thought he was rejecting me but I found out it was his insecurities not because of me or his supposed rejection of me, which was how I took it for all these years.
Married 10 years
Occupation: Registered Nurse

The conference lit a fire under my butt to be a better man of God, Husband and Father. It has helped me to recommit to my wife and marriage.
Married 9 years
Occupation: USAF Pilot/ROTC

I was in tears at the discussion my husband and I had at lunch and I was ready to give up on the conference. We were told that it is alright to have conflict, and even though I didn't want to come back, I'm glad I did. We ended up having a great evening. I enjoyed my husband and the evening because of this weekend conference! Each speaker was great!
Married 3 years
Occupation: Prison Ministry Teacher/Singer

Life changing! Our marriage was over!
Married 6 years
Occupation: Truck Driver
During the conference, my wife pulled away. It hurt our marriage. I believe, though, that this pain will result in long term growth.
Married 1 year
Occupation: Full Time Student in Christian Studies

Six months ago I was ready to give up and leave after 20 years of marriage. This weekend has given me the extra tools I needed to help me continue to learn to love and value my wife and the motivation to be the husband and Dad God wants me to be.
Married 20 years
Occupation: not stated

I think it may have saved our marriage. The conference showed me how to be a better husband and how to better support my wife.
Married 2 years
Occupation: Retired

I came looking to fix him or motivate him to lead our family. I realized how I don't encourage or respect him and how I need to change my attitude.
Married: 12 years
Occupation: Home School Mom

I came in hopeless and isolated. I left with tremendous hope and desire and with a huge smile in my heart. I'm encouraged in my walk with God, marriage and parenting. Thank you.
Married 17 years
Occupation: Physical Therapist

When I walked into the hotel on Friday night there was an incredible feeling of peace and love that was overwhelming - I just felt God everywhere and knew all was well!! This conference has given me hope, understanding and love!
Married 22 years
Occupation: Wife/Mother

We had divorce papers and lawyers, now we have recommitted ourselves to each other and will work together for oneness. The divorce is off! Business Owner Married 9 years

The weekend helped me to reconnect and recommit to my husband. I was ready for divorce. Now I’m ready for Legacy! Homemaker Married 5 years

Extremely positive for both of us. Hearts and minds wide open! We had a great marriage when we came but now……..WOW! We loved it. Wife Married 11 years

This is our fourth conference and I look at them as divorce insurance to divorce proof our marriage. Husband Married 13 years

Realizing that my husband is a gift. I am not showing him, or our children that right now. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I will change. A breath and refill of oxygen to the drowning. Married 5 years

The highlight of the weekend was having my wife open up her needs that I knew nothing about, even after 36 years of marriage. We are having more intimate conversations. Things we took for granted and did not talk about, now we are.

Just before the final session (after the separate men’s and women’s sessions) my husband asked if he could pray for me – he had been empowered to take his husbandry of me to a new level. We are more of a team than ever before, and are ready to receive each other as God’s gift. Married 9 years

Having some of the best sex with my wife I’ve had since our honeymoon. Obviously the conversations we have had, commitments we’ve made to one another, and confessions we’ve shared with each other were super, but the sex was a stamp of approval on everything for me. This conference gave us an opportunity to be together apart from our kids with nothing to do but focus on each other and fall more deeply in love with each other for 44 hours straight.
Husband Married 9 years
We prayed “together” for the first time after being married for 16 years. Wife Married 17 years

This was the first time in over 20 years that we have taken time to get away without kids. What a greate opportunity to reconnect with my soul-mate and best friend! My wife and I have been married almost 24 years. We are both great servant leaders – great at serving others. But … lousy at making our own relationship a priority. This conference has helped us to prioritize our marriage so we can be more helpful to others!

Local Info for Cleveland/Akron Familylife marriage ministry

Please e-mail Dave and Jane Rossiter@ familylife@wowway.com
We can assist you with details about FamilyLife ministries here in North East Ohio.